The Unspoken Mom Guilt of Self-Care

 One thing no one really talks about is the mom guilt that comes with taking time for yourself. It’s like we’re wired to believe that every moment of our existence should be dedicated to our kids, our work, and our responsibilities. But what about us?

Last weekend, I did something I haven’t done in 13 years—I treated myself to a night of self-care. Just one night. And honestly? I felt guilty about it.

See, my son has been wanting an overnight trip at a hotel for the longest time. But between finances and my busy schedule, I haven’t been able to make that happen for him yet. So when I booked my own stay, the guilt hit me hard. Was I betraying him? Was I being selfish?

But then, I reminded myself:

“You’re worthy of this.”

“You deserve this.”

And let me tell you, that night was everything I needed. I didn’t take selfies or flood my social media with updates. The only thing I recorded was a quick video of the restaurant I ate at, but other than that? I was fully present.

My hotel room was immaculate—so fresh, you could literally smell the newness from the recent renovations. I stayed in my room the entire night, curled up with Mrs. Doubtfire, caught up on some homework, and, most importantly, rested.

Of course, my son was checking in on me constantly—he’s so used to being with me all the time. And again, the guilt crept in. But I had to push past it because, as moms, we rarely stop to take care of ourselves.

Our bodies need it.

Our nervous systems need it.

We need it.

So if you’re like me—constantly pouring into everyone else, leaving your own cup empty—this is your reminder: Schedule time for yourself. Even if it’s just one day, one night, or one hour.

Because, mama, you are worth it.

When God Hears What You Don’t Say

Have you ever grown so weary of talking about the same issue that you simply stop? You’ve repeated yourself enough, poured out your heart, only to be met with empty words and actions that don’t match. Eventually, you get tired. You keep it all in and just pray to God because, honestly, who else can you turn to?

That’s exactly where I found myself recently. I was praying silently, asking God, “How long, Lord? How long do I have to endure this?” It’s been about 10 years of dealing with the same situation. Ten years of feeling like my prayers were echoing into the void. I’d become so numb to it that even as I prayed, part of me felt resigned.

But then, God showed up—like He always does.

Yesterday, while I was in the ladies’ bathroom, one of my sisters in Christ walked up to me and said something that stopped me in my tracks. She said, “The Lord told me to tell you, don’t cry anymore. Because what one man won’t do, God will raise up another man to do what you’ve been praying for.”

I broke down in that bathroom, tears streaming uncontrollably. But this time, I wasn’t crying from despair—I was crying because God had heard me. In my silence, in my numbness, He had still seen me. He had still heard my prayers. And He sent someone to remind me of that truth.

This moment was a powerful confirmation: Even when we think we’re suffering in silence, God is always listening. He’s always with us. And when we least expect it, He sends the right person, at the right time, to let us know we’re not forgotten.

To anyone reading this, I want you to know that God sees and hears you, too. He hasn’t overlooked your pain, and He knows the prayers you’re too tired to voice. What feels like silence to you is not silence to Him. His timing may not align with ours, but He is always working.

So, hold on. Keep trusting. God will raise up what or who you need at just the right time. And when He does, you’ll realize He’s been there all along.

💜Jas

That’s exactly where I found myself recently. I was praying silently, asking God, “How long, Lord? How long do I have to endure this?” It’s been about 10 years of dealing with the same situation. Ten years of feeling like my prayers were echoing into the void. I’d become so numb to it that even as I prayed, part of me felt resigned.

But then, God showed up—like He always does.

Yesterday, while I was in the ladies’ bathroom, one of my sisters in Christ walked up to me and said something that stopped me in my tracks. She said, “The Lord told me to tell you, don’t cry anymore. Because what one man won’t do, God will raise up another man to do what you’ve been praying for.”

I broke down in that bathroom, tears streaming uncontrollably. But this time, I wasn’t crying from despair—I was crying because God had heard me. In my silence, in my numbness, He had still seen me. He had still heard my prayers. And He sent someone to remind me of that truth.

This moment was a powerful confirmation: Even when we think we’re suffering in silence, God is always listening. He’s always with us. And when we least expect it, He sends the right person, at the right time, to let us know we’re not forgotten.

To anyone reading this, I want you to know that God sees and hears you, too. He hasn’t overlooked your pain, and He knows the prayers you’re too tired to voice. What feels like silence to you is not silence to Him. His timing may not align with ours, but He is always working.

So, hold on. Keep trusting. God will raise up what or who you need at just the right time. And when He does, you’ll realize He’s been there all along.

Momma, It’s Time to Give it Over to Jesus

 Hello, wonderful Mommas,

It's Jas here, and can you believe it's already November? Let's take a moment to pause and offer our heartfelt thanks to God for guiding us this far on our journey.

I felt compelled to write for all the incredible moms out there who might be wrestling with inner battles. We, as single mothers, often carry the weight of double responsibilities – raising our children and providing for them. Some are fortunate to have the other parent assist with their needs, even if they're not living under the same roof. Then there are those strong mothers who are doing it all on their own. I've walked in both these shoes, and it can be a deeply isolating and frustrating experience. You find yourself questioning, "God, I didn't bring this child into the world by myself, so why am I left to raise them alone?"

For the longest time, I tried to tackle life's challenges my own way, and every single time, I came up short. You see, I have this fear of the unknown; I prefer having a clear view of the outcome. God knows this about me, which is perhaps why I frequently find myself in situations where the only one I can truly rely on is God.

One of my cherished scriptures is 1 Peter 5:7, which goes like this: "Cast all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you." I know you might be thinking, "Jas, it's easier said than done." But if you genuinely come before the Lord in prayer, pour out your heart, and share how you're feeling, you'll literally sense a burden being lifted from your shoulders.

You might even find yourself saying, "God, I can't go on like this. My children would be better off without me." That's just the enemy's deceitful voice. Tell that enemy to hush and boldly proclaim that the Lord has given you the power to overcome. Speak in faith.

I could keep going, but what I truly want is for you to release your burdens to God. Just offer a simple prayer, saying, "God, I'm surrendering my burdens to You, and I ask for the peace and strength to navigate the chaos."

I hope this blog blesses you. Even if you're not a single mom and you're weighed down by the stresses of life, my prayer is that this journal blesses you too.

Remember, we're in this together. I pray that God grants your soul peace and rest. 

With all my love,

Jasmine

Embracing Forgiveness: The Power of Not Giving Up on Yourself

 Life is a journey filled with ups and downs, triumphs and tribulations. Along the way, we may find ourselves making mistakes, feeling overwhelmed, or burdened by guilt. It is during these moments that we must remember the invaluable lessons of not giving up on ourselves and embracing the transformative power of forgiveness. In my recent personal experience, I encountered a situation where I questioned whether God could forgive me. However, through a repentant heart and seeking divine guidance, I discovered the unwavering love and forgiveness that God extends to all. In this blog, I want to share my story and remind you of the importance of forgiving yourself because, as the saying goes, "What the Devil wants is for you to beat yourself up."

1. The Weight of Guilt:

Guilt can be an overwhelming burden that weighs heavily on our souls. It creeps into our thoughts, sows seeds of doubt, and makes us question our worthiness of redemption. It is crucial to recognize that we are all fallible beings, prone to making mistakes. It is in these moments that self-forgiveness becomes essential.

2. Seeking Forgiveness:

When faced with guilt and the belief that God may not forgive us, it is crucial to approach Him with a genuinely repentant heart. God's love is boundless, and His capacity to forgive is infinite. By acknowledging our mistakes, seeking forgiveness, and committing to grow from our experiences, we open ourselves to the transformative power of God's grace.

3. God's Unconditional Forgiveness:

God's forgiveness knows no bounds. Regardless of the magnitude or frequency of our mistakes, God extends His forgiveness to us with open arms. It is through His divine mercy that we find solace and strength to forgive ourselves. Remember, God's love is unconditional, and we are all deserving of His forgiveness.

4. Overcoming Self-Doubt:

In moments of self-doubt and self-condemnation, it is crucial to silence the voice of the Devil. The Devil seeks to rob us of our peace, joy, and progress by keeping us trapped in a cycle of guilt and self-punishment. Instead, we must embrace God's forgiveness, trusting in His love and choosing to forgive ourselves.

5. The Path to Self-Healing and Growth:

Forgiving ourselves is a transformative process that leads to self-healing and growth. It allows us to let go of the past, learn from our mistakes, and embrace a brighter future. By forgiving ourselves, we open doors to new opportunities, renewed self-worth, and a deeper connection with God.

As we navigate the challenges of life, we must remember not to give up on ourselves. God's love and forgiveness are limitless, and as His children, we are entitled to experience His grace. By embracing forgiveness, both from God and ourselves, we release the burdens of guilt and self-condemnation. Let us remember that self-forgiveness is an act of strength, growth, and an acknowledgment of our inherent worthiness of love and redemption. May we choose to forgive ourselves, silence the voice of the Devil, and embrace the unwavering love of God, knowing that He has already forgiven us.

Celebrating Father's Day: The Vital Role of Black Fathers in the Home

Happy Father’s Day!!! Today is the day to celebrate fathers everywhere! As my being a black woman, I want to praise our black fathers!  Did you know according  to the CDC, 58% of Black fathers live with one or more of their children and a even a larger majority (72.7%) of Black fathers talk with their children about things that happened during the day (several times a week or more) whether they live with their children or not? So let’s get to it.

Father's Day is a special occasion that honors the significant contributions of fathers and recognizes their vital role in the family. In this blog, we will focus on the importance of black fathers and how they break stereotypes, provide for their children, and contribute to the well-being and success of their families. By challenging misconceptions, black fathers have proven time and again that they are not only present but also actively engaged in their children's lives.

Breaking Stereotypes:

Stereotypes surrounding black fathers not being present or actively involved in their children's lives have persisted for far too long. However, these stereotypes are baseless and fail to acknowledge the countless black fathers who defy expectations every day. Black fathers demonstrate unwavering commitment, love, and support, shattering these stereotypes and paving the way for a more accurate and positive portrayal of fatherhood.

Providing for Their Children:

Black fathers are diligent providers for their children, ensuring their well-being and nurturing their development. Contrary to the stereotype that suggests otherwise, they strive to create stable and supportive environments for their families. Through their hard work and dedication, black fathers serve as role models, teaching their children the values of perseverance, resilience, and responsibility.

Emotional Support and Guidance:

Black fathers play a crucial role in offering emotional support and guidance to their children. They actively participate in their child's emotional and psychological growth, providing a safe space for expression, empathy, and understanding. By fostering healthy emotional connections, black fathers contribute to the overall well-being of their children and help them navigate the challenges of life with confidence and resilience.

Positive Impact on Education:

Black fathers are instrumental in their children's education, actively involved in their academic pursuits. They emphasize the importance of learning, encourage curiosity, and instill a sense of ambition in their children. By being engaged in school activities, attending parent-teacher meetings, and fostering a culture of learning at home, black fathers ensure that their children have the tools and support needed to succeed academically.

Building Stronger Communities:

Black fathers not only contribute to the strength of their individual families but also play a pivotal role in building stronger communities. They serve as positive role models for other fathers, inspiring them to actively participate in their children's lives and promote positive change. By breaking down barriers and leading by example, black fathers foster a sense of unity, empowerment, and pride within their communities.

Father's Day is an important occasion to celebrate and honor fathers, including black fathers who defy stereotypes and provide immeasurable love and support to their families. They contribute to the well-being and success of their children, breaking down barriers and inspiring positive change. By recognizing the crucial role of black fathers, we promote a more inclusive and accurate understanding of fatherhood and create a world where every father is celebrated for their dedication, sacrifice, and unwavering love.

Embracing Boy Mom Life: Nurturing Mental Health in Black Boys

 Hey y’all! 

I’m back…it’s been about six months since I wrote a blog, but I intend to do better. This is a very special month for me because it’s my son’s birthday and it is also Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month! As being a single mom to a black boy, it’s my duty to protect my son’s mental health. I sincerely hope that this blog provides valuable insights and practical tips to support you in nurturing the mental health of our beloved black sons. May it serve as a resource to empower and guide you on this important journey of fostering their well-being.

Being a boy mom to a black boy is a beautiful and important role that comes with its own unique challenges and opportunities. As a parent, it is crucial to prioritize your black son's mental health, considering the impact of societal factors and personal experiences on their well-being. In this blog post, we will explore five essential tips for nurturing the mental health of your black son and empowering him to thrive.

1. Cultivate Cultural Pride:

Encourage your black son to embrace and celebrate his cultural identity. Teach him about his heritage, history, and the achievements of black individuals. Help him develop a positive sense of self by instilling pride in his roots. Celebrate cultural traditions and engage in activities that connect him to his community. This sense of belonging and pride can contribute to his mental well-being and resilience.

2. Address Racism and Discrimination:

Acknowledge that your black son may encounter racism and discrimination throughout his life. Provide a safe space for him to discuss his experiences and emotions surrounding these challenges. Teach him about racial equality, social justice, and empowerment. Equip him with the knowledge and skills to navigate and challenge systemic injustices while nurturing a sense of agency and self-worth.

3. Encourage Positive Role Models:

Expose your black son to positive role models who look like him and have achieved success in various fields. These role models can inspire him, showcase the possibilities for his future, and help counter negative stereotypes. Surround him with mentors, family members, and community leaders who can provide guidance, support, and encouragement, reinforcing his self-esteem and mental well-being.

4. Foster Resilience and Coping Skills:

Help your black son develop resilience and effective coping mechanisms to navigate adversity. Teach him problem-solving skills, emotional regulation techniques, and stress management strategies. Encourage him to express his feelings and seek support when needed. By equipping him with these tools, he will develop the resilience to face challenges and maintain positive mental health.

5. Promote Self-Love and Body Positivity:

Society often perpetuates harmful beauty standards that can impact the mental well-being of black boys. Encourage your son to embrace his unique features, skin color, and hair texture. Teach him that true beauty comes from within and that self-love is essential. Promote body positivity and challenge negative media portrayals by exposing him to diverse representations of black boys and men.

Being a boy mom to a black son requires an understanding of the specific challenges he may face and a commitment to nurturing his mental health. By cultivating cultural pride, addressing racism, providing positive role models, fostering resilience, and promoting self-love and body positivity, you can empower your black son to navigate the world with confidence and maintain a positive mindset. Remember, your love, guidance, and support play a crucial role in shaping his mental well-being and helping him thrive.

Best, 

💙Jas

Believe Your Purpose

 Hey y’all!

I hope you are doing well and staying safe! Can you believe there are three months left in this year?!! Time is flying! Even though I have faced some challenges this year, I must say this year has been a great year for me!

Ok! So let’s get to the topic for today. The topic for today is purpose. I hear so many people say “I have a  purpose or You have a purpose”. It sounds good, but do you believe it? I can honestly say I never believed I had purpose. Even though I portrayed on Facebook and Instagram that I knew my purpose,  I had no clue. 

When you don’t know your purpose, you allow any and everything in your space . In my personal opinion, this is why I feel toxic relationships lasts so long because the male or female has no clue what his or her purpose is. I allowed so many things to transpire because I cared more for others more than I cared for myself. I believed and encouraged others more than I encouraged myself. 

Let me remind you that YOU ARE YOUR BIGGEST SUPPORTER OR YOUR BIGGEST ENEMY. It’s up to you to decide whether you’re going to speak life or death over your life. I had to say that because we’re speaking love and happiness into others and we’re speaking hate to ourselves! Why? Because we don’t believe we have purpose.  

Once you know and believe in your purpose, there will be an immediate change in your mind, body and spirit. You’ll become selfish in a good way. Meaning, you’ll begin to put yourself first. I know you’re probably saying “Well Jas I’m a mom and wife; and I have to take care of my family”. Listen, your family knows your energy is off and to be quite honest they don’t like it at all!

So it’s time put yourself first and believe in your purpose. God didn’t create you just to be stagnant. He created you to be a blessing to others, but you can’t be a blessing to others if you don’t know your purpose. 

I’m going to leave you with this quote it says, “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson